We live in a world that encourages competition. Whether it’s in our careers, personal achievements, or social circles, it often feels like we’re measured by how we compare to others. I used to think life was a race. Whether it was seeing friends achieve career milestones, buy a new house, or simply look like they had it all together, it felt like a constant reminder that I wasn’t there yet. Many of us think like this—comparing, measuring, and wondering why we aren’t where we think we should be. We adopt this comparative mindset. But with this way of thinking, this competition we engage in, especially in our minds, is holding us back more than it’s pushing us forward.
It hit me one day, in one of those rare moments of clarity, that the competition I thought I was part of wasn’t even real. It was something I created in my mind—a pressure to measure up to someone else’s idea of success. But each of us is on a completely different path. Our journey is different. We are different people. And these paths don’t run parallel or cross over as much as we think they do. Realizing this is where the change begins. It might change your thinking for the better.
Why We Feel Like We’re Competing
It’s natural to compare ourselves to others. We see someone else succeeding, and it triggers something inside us. Suddenly, their success feels like our failure. But this isn’t reality. The problem with this mindset is that we think there’s only one way to succeed or one timeline we should follow. We think, “That person has this, and I’ll be satisfied or happy if I have the same exact thing.”
Success is not a limited resource. It’s not something that runs out when others achieve it. Your path is unique, shaped by different circumstances, challenges, and goals. You were brought up and nurtured differently. Think about your childhood—maybe you were spoiled with many things that others weren’t, or maybe others were pampered more than you, and you always wondered if the same was possible for you. The journey we all have is different, and some things we cannot change. So why are we measuring ourselves against a path that isn’t ours?
Competition Distracts Us From Growth
The more we focus on competing, the less we focus on what really matters—our own growth. I used to feel pressure when I saw others climbing the career ladder faster than me or achieving things I hadn’t even started working on yet. But when I zoomed out and looked at the bigger picture, I realized I wasn’t giving myself the chance to grow in a way that made sense for me.
Competition pushes us to chase things we may not even want. You might feel pressured to get a certain job or hit a milestone just because others around you are doing it, even if it doesn’t align with your goals. In the end, this kind of thinking only leads to frustration and burnout. Growth isn’t about being the best—it’s about being better than you were yesterday, on your own terms.
Changing Your Thinking
So, how do we step out of this competitive mindset? It starts with a shift in perspective. Here are a few actions you can take:
- Recognize Your Unique Journey & Identify Your Values
No two paths are the same. What works for someone else might not work for you, and that’s okay. Focus on your personal and professional goals, not someone else’s version of success. Instead of basing your success on external standards, take time to reflect on your own values. What’s important to you? What brings you joy and a sense of purpose? These are the things you should pursue, not societal markers of success that may not even resonate with your true desires. - Celebrate Small Wins
Instead of comparing your progress to others, take time to celebrate your own achievements, no matter how small they might seem. Progress is progress, and it’s worth acknowledging. The first person to be happy about the achievement is you. - Reframe Challenges as Growth Opportunities
When things don’t go as planned, instead of feeling like you’re falling behind, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Every setback has the potential to shape you in positive ways. - Limit Comparison Triggers
If you notice certain things—like social media—trigger feelings of competition or inadequacy, step back. Create space in your life to focus on what truly matters to you. - Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present. Acknowledge the progress you’ve made, the relationships you cherish, and the opportunities available to you. Think about it every day. This practice will help you build a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity.
Building a Mindset of Growth, Not Competition
When we stop competing and start accepting our own journey, we open ourselves up to real growth. When you have clarity that other people’s success won’t bother you, you’ve achieved personal growth and peace of mind. This will not worry you anymore. Instead of worrying about what others are doing, focus on building a mindset rooted in self-awareness, patience, and resilience.
Be skilled, learn as much as you can, but only for your growth—not because someone else is doing it. Or at least take it as a humbling experience. Become more aligned with who you are and what you truly want from life. This shift in thinking allows us to grow at our own pace, in ways that are meaningful to us, without the pressure of competition weighing us down.
It’s easy to get detached from depth and experiencing life fully due to competition’s never-ending nature. But you’re not in a race. Your success is yours to define, and the only person you should be competing with is who you were yesterday.