When I was young, I often found myself taking a backseat in group hangouts with friends. I was the quiet one, always observing rather than participating. Deep down, though, I yearned to join in. However, my lack of confidence held me back. In school, I rarely raised my hand to answer the teacher’s questions, preferring to blend into the background. Meeting new people was especially daunting for me—I struggled to find words and often felt tongue-tied. It wasn’t that I was mute; rather, in crowded places or unfamiliar settings, my shyness overwhelmed me, and I hesitated to voice my opinions.
However, it’s not like I could not form strong connections. Once I clicked with someone, my inhibitions melted away, and I became more outgoing. I found myself engaging in lively conversations, sharing my thoughts without reservation. It was as if a switch had been flipped—I no longer struggled with shyness when I felt a genuine connection with someone.
But clicking with someone took time. In a fast-paced world, opportunities pass quickly, often seized by those who exude confidence. Confidence wasn’t something I thought much about when I was young. It wasn’t until life’s challenges confronted me that I realized I needed to work on my personality. I didn’t want to remain in the background, a shadow unnoticed by others. I wanted to make an impact.
I came to understand that impact comes from asserting yourself, from taking on challenges. While some may be confident yet naturally quiet yet and do extraordinary things, my quietness had become my identity, leading me to avoid challenges and merely go with the flow. Recognizing this pattern, I knew I needed to change. It wasn’t about devaluing myself but about striving for growth and embracing new opportunities.
Some individuals possess extraordinary creativity and talents that could dazzle the world, yet their lack of confidence holds them back. What good is this remarkable talent if it remains hidden away, unrecognized and unseen? Unfortunately, for many, this lack of confidence becomes their defining characteristic, overshadowing their abilities and leading them to doubt their own worth.
I gradually became aware of this aspect of myself and felt a strong desire to overcome it. I started to study confident personalities both in real life and online. I observed how they perceive the world, how they communicate, their overall demeanor, body language, and how they navigate social situations, especially in crowded settings.
Believe in You
Confidence comes down to one thing: believing in yourself, your abilities, and your worth. Without confidence, doubts, fears, and social anxiety creep in—traits you’d rather not have. So, what happens when these traits define you? Missed opportunities, self-imposed limitations, and a constant feeling of insecurity. It’s like standing in your own way, blocking yourself from the chances that could transform your life.
Changing yourself is possible. Building confidence is like training—it improves with practice. It’s a skill that can be developed, though it may fluctuate at times. Understanding the root causes of low confidence is essential. Childhood trauma, lack of opportunities to practice confidence, and negative experiences can all contribute to feelings of low self-assurance.
Insights from Personal Experience and Expert Advice
I’ve accumulated my own set of tips and exercises for building confidence, alongside studying over 100 videos on confidence featuring renowned personalities. Today, I’ll share insights gleaned from both my life experiences and the teachings of these YouTube videos. There’s no particular order or references; I’ll simply highlight the common themes discussed by many of them. Here’s what everyone seems to agree on:
Body Language:
If you’re constantly feeling lacking in confidence, why not try acting like someone who exudes confidence? Adopt the body language of icons like Bruce Wayne, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, or Conor McGregor. Power poses can send signals to your brain, triggering feelings of confidence. Stand tall, chest out, shoulders back, and engage your core. Channel your inner superhero, reminding yourself that you’re on a mission to conquer challenges. Show the body language of confidence, even if you’re unsure at first. Keep practicing it, and eventually, you’ll embody that confident attitude effortlessly.
Positive Affirmations:
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Do you reach for your phone and waste precious time scrolling mindlessly? One powerful way to cultivate positivity is by repeating affirmations that boost self-belief. Begin your day by affirming that you’ll be the best version of yourself and that you’ll tackle challenges confidently. But don’t just say it as a formality—really feel it. Take a deep breath, focus on your goals, and genuinely mean what you say. Leaving your comfort zone feels less daunting when you’ve made it a place where you belong.
In a world filled with negativity, it’s crucial to be kind to ourselves and maintain a positive outlook. Always remember to think highly of yourself and approach situations logically.
Here are some Positive affirmation statements:
- I am capable of handling whatever comes my way.
- I face adversity with courage and determination.
- Nothing can deter me from reaching my goals.
- I will face obstacles as opportunities for growth and learning.
These are merely examples. You can tailor them to fit your specific life challenges and issues.
Physical Activity:
This is the most important one for me: work on your body. Whether it’s hitting the gym, lifting weights, or simply going for a walk outdoors, make physical activity a daily habit. I believe there’s a strong connection between physical and mental strength. Engaging in exercise builds confidence and a sense of accomplishment. When you commit to working out, you’ll feel a sense of pride and achievement, knowing you’ve completed something meaningful by the end of the day.
Life throws challenges our way, and exercise serves as a powerful stress reliever, providing a much-needed outlet to unwind and recharge. Regular physical activity also has a profound impact on mood, enhancing feelings of happiness and well-being. As you become stronger and more physically fit, you’ll notice an improvement in your self-image and overall confidence. People will recognize your dedication to self-care, and it will become a symbol of your confidence and resilience.
Take action
Don’t wait for permission or direction from others. Seize opportunities and take initiative from the outset. Position yourself for success by being proactive. Every action, no matter how small, builds momentum and reinforces your belief in your abilities. Remember, belief is key. Your ideas may face rejection, but you must be prepared for that. Don’t remain passive; speak up, assert yourself, and participate. Embrace the possibility of rejection, knowing that failure is often a stepping stone to success. It’s through perseverance and resilience that true greatness is achieved.
Practice Self Reflection
Welcome change with openness and positivity. Every day, take the lessons from your mistakes and failures as valuable opportunities for growth. Look for the silver lining in every experience and strive for self-improvement daily by recognizing your strengths and weaknesses. When self-criticism creeps in, replace it with positive affirmations. Step out of your comfort zone to explore new ventures and embrace risks, knowing that this is where growth thrives. Find moments to pause and center yourself throughout the day, fostering clarity and peace of mind. Picture yourself achieving your goals with confidence, using visualization techniques to turn your aspirations into reality.
The Confidence Assignment:
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be truly confident? Take a moment to recall times in your life when you felt confident. What were the circumstances that led to those feelings of confidence? Reflect on the actions you took or the mindset you adopted that helped you feel confident in those moments.
Now, consider what evidence or experiences you need to feel confident like that again. This is a task for you: identify something that previously made you confident, and then identify something that you fear doing. Approach this fear with confidence, and take note of what makes you feel confident or how you manage to cultivate confidence in yourself.
Reflect on past experiences and actively seek out opportunities to confront fears with confidence. Through this, you’ll gain valuable insights into the essence of confidence and learn how to cultivate it in different situations.
Other tasks:
- Keep a Confidence Journal: Each day, write down one thing you did that made you feel confident, no matter how small.
- Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Weekly: Challenge yourself to do one thing each week that pushes you out of your comfort zone.
- Celebrate Your Achievements: At the end of each week, celebrate one accomplishment, no matter how minor, and reflect on how it contributes to your confidence.
- List 10-20 things you would do if you were more confident.
- Rate your current confidence level on a scale of 0-10.
Conquer with Confidence:
When you’re truly confident, you’re unstoppable. Action is instinctual; there’s no hesitation, just determination to achieve your goals. Your energy skyrockets, and you naturally seek out positive influences that uplift you. Surround yourself with those who boost your well-being. Quality sleep and regular exercise are non-negotiable habits. While these feelings may fluctuate, consistency is key. Master it for enduring success.